Tag Archives: author confessions


Recently, a very dear friend of mine advised me that they love that I am ‘fierce.’ I take this as a priceless compliment. I think I am fierce too. I love fiercely, live fiercely, and charge forward with an untenable focus on my pursuits. It is no mistake that the Rhino is my logo and philosophy.

I am also fiercely loyal as a friend. I will interject myself into situations to defend when necessary, or to stand up in the stead of a friend who is not present to do so for themselves. I personally believe this is the hallmark of friendship, or at least one of them…brutal honestly, and sometimes being the director of shenanigans is also in the job description.

But…all this fierceness, makes the results fierce too. For example…the mad, crazy juggle often is the source code for a FIERCE headache, fierce disappointment, and fierce self-condemnation. I am angry and frustrated when I can’t run as hard as I feel I should, or learn something faster. I want to be better with each day, at everything I endeavor to accomplish. This is not always the reality.

As you have seen, I have been part of two recent sets with others. One was…for lack of a better description, Author Marketing 101 on crack. I have never learned so much in such a short window while at the time feeling like I dropped so many balls. I ran hard, and gave my all…and at the end of the crazy push – I am frustrated that I couldn’t learn more to do more faster. Add that everything else on my plate has sort of become soupy from running together as they got luke warm…and my frustration is ugly, and fierce.

Whatever comes next, there is a fierce pride commingled with the disappointment. Next time…I will be better, I will be faster, and I will contribute more if it kills me. Yes, I’ve said it to myself and the organizer…who assures me that growth takes time. I might believe her.

Until that, I’m re-evaluating my agenda. I still have every intention of releasing the other 5 works in 2017. The dates may juggle, but this is me being fierce…fiercely hard-headed & stubborn to achieve the goals. Which means, it’s back to the cave after I finish posting my promos for today, because juggling…often takes time that would be used for other things…and there are no more hours so NOW it is.

See you on the pages.


Wording away

pizap-com13904227506211-2  Aedan here, wording away…sort of.

As many of you are aware I took some time to work with someone else recently because try as I might, and know the story as I do, I could not reach the point where I knew with any clarity if book III was the end or if there should be more, but conversely I didn’t know how in the heck to wrap up so many open story lines in a single book without it becoming a tome. The experience was spectacular, and as scary as they come because I learned what I did wrong.

As a writer, I think this has perhaps been the most important and powerful lesson of my recent three-year journey. While I have been writing for ages, and published too, the last three years were when the Vengelys series got its foundation and my personal bedrock fissured. Why? For me, knowing and writing are never the same. I was, and to a degree still am, a panster writer which means that while the plot is rough and dirty in my mind and I think I know the story I’m telling, it doesn’t take much for it to detour and go completely astray. This series has, in some ways, done just that.

Never in my wildest imagination did I believe that I would not only create Amaranth, but also draw the line of demarcation so narrowly.  I also did not see such a burgeoning cast of characters when I first started writing this. I know them all in my mind and in my mind they are crystal clear. That clarity does not translate for all of them to the readers which is a problem. The rules and quirks of Amaranth also do not translate well for all readers, which is and is not a problem, I don’t want to tell you about it, I want you to feel it. Did I succeed? Not as much as I’d have hoped.

So, what’s a writer to do? We do what the expert says, we go back to the beginning…and so I have. I am re-reading my stuff and picking it apart, which I’ll be honest, is incredibly painful. I am trying dutifully to see with open eyes where I left information on my cerebral cortex instead of the page and am trying to fathom how to bring that information forward now as I embark on the monumental journey of Kingdoms Fall.

This is why I write today, because I am trying to be brutally honest with myself as I go forward. The brutally honest statement that I have to make is that Kingdoms Fall IS coming, I will not, not write it, BUT I want to make sure it is the piece that it should be and thus, I am not rushing. I have said this before, and it was not flip when I did. I have just come to the realization that I want more; more for this series, more for these characters, more for the readers, and more for me.

I have entertained the notion, as some authors do, of going back to book I and re-releasing the first two books as enhanced volumes with the pieces I missed. I don’t know if that is wise or not. I’m still in Oracle finding what I left in notes…once I’m to the end, the weights on the scale will have to decide. For now, please just know that I do not take lightly the trust the readers have placed in me. I do not delay and continue to tell you of my personal struggles because I have nothing better to do. I have a great deal to do and it is all important. I just did not for a moment want anyone who has read my work to think that I made a decision from folly or am keeping them waiting for play.

I want very much to have earned the place on each bookshelf where my titles sit. I want to be an author that has a reputation for doing it right, even if that means starting at the beginning again to get it right. The readers, the story, and the future are worth that much to me.

Thanks for being along for the ride. I will continue to update on where I am and what is happening as best I am able. In the meanwhile, pick up one of my fellow authors and take their stories for a spin. There are some pretty great books coming out of EBB this year.