Diluting expectations

I have OCD. EXTREME OCD as a matter of fact. Ask anyone who knows me a bit. I have the horrible habit of remembering most things in detail as well…which honestly hurts my head at times. I can, in many cases, remember a conversation verbatim, where others simply don’t recall it at all. It’s a burden I’d like to unload.

Add to this that I’m a bit of a workaholic. I run until I drop, I’ll write until I can’t see the screen or page, and I pack more into my schedule than I probably should, if I want people to believe I actually value my sanity. I’d like to find a way to ease off this too…but I know it won’t happen.

So, I’m trying to employ some breathing and meditation again. The problem is not that I can’t manage the burden I have, but that I look for when others pick up to the level of my crazy and get frustrated when they won’t, don’t, or can’t. Mostly, I’m pretty good at that and keep moving. Lately, with respect to the day job, I’m homicidal often and leaving it at the office is more difficult by the day.

I’m counting down to vacation like a condemned waiting for the chair.

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