Rainy days & Mondays…

I listened to Karen Carpenter sing it for years. It was a long time before I understood the meaning. Some of the lyrics still hold sway;

Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old
Sometimes I’d like to quit
Nothin’ ever seems to fit
Hangin’ around
Nothin’ to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I’ve got they used to call the blues
Nothin’ is really wrong
Feelin’ like I don’t belong
Walkin’ around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

I’ve felt this a lot lately, like no one is listening, no one hears what I say, or that what I say doesn’t fit. Luckily, ‘quit’ isn’t in my vocabulary.

It’s no accident that my logo is a Rhinoceros.

open magic book, stories and educational stories floating

Rhinoceros is a business philosophy I learned ages ago. More and more it’s an author philosophy too. Focus, drive, charge…run it down no matter what it is and don’t give up until you get there. Most days it works. Other days, not as much.

On days like today when I feel particularly beaten, I remind myself that there is only one goal. There are many routes to accomplish it, but there is only one ultimate goal and the only one keeping me from it, is me.  It’s one of those things where it would be easier to compare myself to others in similar situations and gauge my success, or failure, by theirs. It is a fool’s errand. No one is walking the same steps I am. Their focus is not on my feet, nor should mine be on their path.

Someday, when I look back, I want to remember days like today. I will own them then, as I do now. They are part of how I will become what it is I am supposed to be. These are the days that I found the chinks in my armor and filled them with gold so that they will shine brighter for the flaw they expose. I do not want to get to the end of the road and wonder how I came to be where I stand. No, I want to look down and the haggled, weary, journey-ravaged me, a spider-web of gold crisscrossing the expanse, and know that I” am how I arrived. By my work, by my words, by my efforts.

For now, there’s another spot to mend and another thread of gold to add to the tapestry that is my journey. It’s a wild mess right now. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be.  -Sav

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