Some people say the difference between sane and insane is a leap of faith into the abyss. I believe I know that cliff. I’m dancing her rise on a regular basis of late as I write and revise, write and revise.
Some days I think if I leap I will soar and rise above the chaos to see clearly, like a plane that climbs higher above the storm to avoid the turbulence. Other days, I am fair certain that if I step wrong on the path of my approach that the rubble will nay-say my placement and I will be lost to the black, unseen bottom below the sheer face. Occasionally I have a fair sense of which way the day is going to go. It is the days when I don’t know what will be that worry me. I’m seldom certain anymore.
The days when my super hero writing cape kites out and ripples in the breeze are fewer between than the ones where I am sure that a mystical fan will catch the corner and shred it completely as I step off to test my wings against the current. This is writing. This is the ten feet tall and bullet proof enigma that beckons us from the days of paper bag shorts. It is the dream and the nightmare all at once.
It is the thrill of the quandary. I for one, can’t imagine it any other way. I believe that if it were easy and straight forward that less, not more of us would pursue it. The adage is, if it was easy everyone would do it. I don’t think that’s true for writing. I think if it were easier, many of us wouldn’t because the challenge, the roller coaster of emotion and struggle to accomplish would be gone. We need the peaks and valleys. We need to fear the crash and burn to appreciate the flight.
Or, maybe that’s just me. I hope that when Kingdoms Fall finally goes to production that I still feel the same. Right now I find that I could use a few more days of flight instead of fall in the big picture. For now, I’ll straighten what’s left of my cape and leap. Goddess willing, I’ll catch a current.