Methods & madness

Just when I think that I’ve finally grasped the method to the rainbow seizure of post its going up, on what looks like a big calendar to me, something changes. I thought I understood why there were places and conflicts and such, and I almost understood the going backwards too. But now, I’m completely lost. In a lot of ways I feel like this is just a big board demonstration of the chaos I already had. I have been assured that is not true and that we will get through it. My inner jury is in heated deliberation.

I could never be a criminal mastermind. The notion that each detail to the nth degree is perfectly plotted and executed would be a tripping point from the second step. The first step of course being the idea at all.

I still like being a pantster writer. I didn’t like it so much when I hit the wall. Less when I was informed, delicately but informed just the same, that I had gaping holes in my story. My intense pride at completion was short-lived.

In my mind it is all so clear. In my mind I know exactly what happens, but somehow this go round I have not gotten it to the page well. I have not clarified the vision in my head so that the readers can clearly see what I see. This time, being a pantster has been a welt on my bum and I’m ready for it to mend. This post it style plotting is not better to my thinking at this moment. I hope it gets better.

I saw Savie’s plot board melting pot of color. It made me nautious. I’m dearly afraid of what’s happening to my story on this wall. I also think I will need a multi-page code key to decifer this once it’s done. The descent to madness is a bittersweet journey. One I’ve created I know…but a rising tide of crazy just the same.

Another author from our group is fond of pointing out the ‘hug-me’ jackets and the glitter. I can see myself wearing a sparkly morning coat some days knowing that there is not enough coffee or sanity to save the course of the day from the inevitable wreckage.

Just the same, “*something- something- something, and really bad eggs…a writer’s life for me.”

-Aedan

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